Saying "I'm Sorry" - Why is it so hard?

     Punched, kicked, and cussed at, all in one day... all before 2pm!  This was in my classroom at an elementary school, not by my personal kids, thankfully!  BUT, with this happening, I was not in a very positive mood.  My daughter was not listening, I told her to not swing a toy around, she kept doing it and BOOM!  Hit Drake, one of her infant brothers, right in the head.  I snapped at her and yelled really loud, to the point that I scared her, and Bodhi, Drake's twin brother.  Now all three kids are screaming and crying, I'm upset, my wife is upset, and nothing is getting solved.  Instead of worrying about my son in that exact moment, I yelled at my daughter simply because I wasn't aware of where I was emotionally. 
     My wife had Drake, he was okay, the toy that hit him was a little toy car and wasn't really that hard.  It sounded MUCH worse than it actually was.  I told Anna to go to timeout, while I went in the other room and took a breather myself.  I knew me yelling had only made the situation worse, I hadn't solved anything.  I had taken what could have been a teachable moment and turned into chaos. 

     I sat down on the couch and prayed and took several deep breaths, realizing my daughter hadn't listened, and yes, I need to address that, but I also need to address me yelling to the point I scared her.  There is a time and a place for screaming if necessary (i.e. a car is about to run over someone, or something else) but not when a child gets hit with a toy.  I walked over, sat down on the floor with my daughter and said, "Anna, I'm sorry I yelled at you."  I stopped, i didn't go into some big speech of why what she did was wrong, but I stopped and hugged her.  She is two, she just needed to know I love her and that I am not mad at her.  As soon as I told her I was sorry she sat in my lap and let me hug her and she stopped crying.  Then she could listen and we talked about why she was in timeout and how swinging the car wasn't okay. 
     Without me saying I'm sorry, I wouldn't have grown, and it doesn't show her that I know I make mistakes and I will own up to it.  It is hard to do.  I didn't want to do it, but after I did I felt so much better and felt a relief.  It's not always easy for us as men to say we are sorry, but it helps our kids understand that we aren't perfect, and it is great for them to see that.  It is great for them to see us model how to apologize with authenticity.